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Battle of the Planets

Battle of the Planets – 1978–1985
aka G-Force
Director
David E. Hanson

Writers
Peter Germano
Sidney Morse

Cast
Alan Young
Keye Luke
Ronnie Schell

Review by Ian D. McArdell

Great big slices of American cheese!

Having run madly around the school playground as a member of G-Force, I have fond memories of this series. I was lucky enough to discover some UK re-runs recently and I must say it doesn’t disappoint. This had to be one of the most bizarre cartoon series ever. Sub-anime cartoon action, with a core of good Vs evil morality and a strange taste in feathery superhero costumes.

Basically, our five brave orphan heroes spend their day chilling and waiting to be called into action – when they are, it’s off in the Phoenix zap about and save our galaxy from another lacklustre take-over attempt by Spectra – embodied be the Evil Zoltar.

Intros from soothing robot narrator 7-Zark-7 (and his robot dog 1-Rover-1) push the plots along, and somehow our heroes save the day by flying about a bit, throwing some banter about and coaxing this weeks traitor back to the good guys before wherever they are explodes. Zoltar then promptly escapes to pester the good peoples of Earth and her colonies another day.

You will not find a better example of 70’s haircuts, camp villains, naff plots and creaky cold-war style American morality. It’s a winner!

A few things to treasure… One: All the computers still work on ticker-tape in the future… fantastic! Two: Camp bad-guy Zoltar not only had all the best lines, but some of the most fulsome lips in the cartoon universe. Three: Possibly the most melodramatic opening spiel in tevevision history (even beats the A-team!) Four: 7-Zark-7’s ongoing romance with ‘Susan’ the sexy computer voice that delivered the mission at the start of the show.

In the UK, you can catch ‘Battle of the Planets’ on Bravo, usually in the dead of night. On reflection, perhaps this is a good thing – the children of today might not be able to handle the sheer drama and tension.

And yes, I did have a crush on Princess. And I still do.

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70’s Televison

What an amazing piece of kit our telly was. Can you imagine having to change channel by turning a knob to tune in BBC2 and forever getting up to realign the aerial and contrast, and the only way to stop the picture from rolling was to give the set a good thump? Do you remember that we only have three channels to watch? Thinking about it, the conversation was better at school next day as everyone seemed to be watching the same thing unlike nowadays where we have too much choice. Aye, the quality of programmes seem to have dwindled when you think back to what we had in our days.

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